You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
God gave him joint rollers for hands
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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