So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize