You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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