I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
