So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When did angry sex become our thing?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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