Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
