I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
