if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
