I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
