The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
