please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
