She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
