i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
