yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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