I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
