Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
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Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
God, I missed his penis.
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