do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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