As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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