They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize