i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
