Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My breasts were aching with rage.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
