no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
