Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
