She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
