So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
