I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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