is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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