Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
