yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize