We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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