there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
