You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
