Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
