sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
