my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize