capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
