i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
