I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
