I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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