I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
