I CAN MOONWALK!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
