Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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