At least make sure they are 18
Why
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
