I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
