Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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