wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
