insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
