I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
