Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
