i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Blood and glitter go together right?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
