I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just puked most of my soul out..
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