I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
