so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
