I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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