For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
