How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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