her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Sorry about my life...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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