Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
