a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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