If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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