You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
