so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
