I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
