Cold hands, warm shart.
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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